Computing Glossary

by Karel Thönissen

SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY or DEFINING COMPUTER TERMS FROM A MARKETING POINT OF VIEW

• ALL NEW -- The software is not compatible with previous versions.
• ADVANCED DESIGN -- Upper management does not understand it.
• BREAKTHROUGH -- It nearly booted on the first try.
• DESIGN SIMPLICITY -- It was developed on a shoe-string budget.
• EXCLUSIVE -- We are the only ones who have the documentation.
• FIELD TESTED -- Manufacturing does not have a test system.
• FOOLPROOF OPERATION -- All parameters are hard coded.
• FUTURISTIC -- It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.
• HIGH ACCURACY -- All the directories compare.
• IT'S HERE AT LAST -- We have released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.
• MAINTENANCE FREE -- It is impossible to fix.
• MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS -- It compiles without errors.
• NEW -- It comes in different colors from the previous version.
• PERFORMANCE PROVEN -- It works through beta-test.
• REVOLUTIONARY -- The disk drives go round and round.
• SATISFACTION GUARANTEED -- We shall send you another copy if it fails.
• STOCK ITEM -- We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.
• UNMATCHED -- It is almost as good as the competition.
• UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -- Nothing ever ran this slow before.
• YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -- We finally got one to work.

Found this jewel today in OS-News.